My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard...
Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
Brother: that's not fair
Mom: DO AS I SAY.
Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.
When THIS scene comes on in The Lion King
ruinedchildhood: EVERYBODY KNOWS IT’S. ABOUT. TO GO. DOWN! “GET IT SIMBA!”
How to Know When a Woman is Mad
zumainthyfuture: assholeanonymous: damnthatswhatshesaid: these ladies are my idols what the fuck is wrong with women Touch my car and its game over for that ass O_O
me: wow that guy over there is really hot
hot guy: is that a potato staring at me
Black guy kills some people.
Muslim guy kills some people.
Latino guy kills some people.
White guy kills some people.
Society: Mental illness. (lost soul, complicated psyche, quiet loner, misunderstood, frustrated with life, experienced recent, traumatic, life-altering events that set him off; not to mention all the positive descriptors that are attached to him, i.e. intelligent, PhD candidate, honor roll student, etc.)
toiletraybans: Every day my brother buys a bottle of Dr. Pepper and puts it in the fridge and leaves to work/school Every day he gets home and doesn’t find it in the fridge I’ve convinced him that he never bought the soda in the first place and he believes me. Every single time.
anrdew: aw shit get it wednesday
unofficial-pinup-vixen: three-sugars-please: iambabz: luckythinks91: cassholebruno: twerkin’ my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and i’m home bound same OMGGG NOOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL crying!!
Airport Security before 9/11
When I see those little 8 year old pricks with...
sodamnrelatable: via sodamnrelatable
shavingryansprivates: ACCIDENTALLY STEPPING ON YOUR PET IS THE WORST THING EVER THEY TRUSTED YOU AND YOU STEPPED ON THEM AND THEY CAN’T EVEN UNDERSTAND YOUR APOLOGY BECAUSE THEY DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH